50 epigrams

gettin' quippy wit it

Greetings Wildeans—

The limerick battles were such a delight that I’ve been thinking about other witty short forms, and what could be dearer to this “quite useless” newsletter than the epigram?

For new readers or as a reminder, I plucked its name from one of Oscar Wilde’s best; the grand finale of his preface to The Picture of Dorian Gray (a veritable epigram buffet):

1. “All art is quite useless.”

Unbelievably, this didn’t even make the Guardian’s list of his top 50. So much the better; I will claim it for mine. But I’ll resist pumping my archive with any other Wilde entries, brilliant as they are. What follows are 49 others I like—some my own, some personal favorites by friends and family and “friends.”

But! As Substack has recently granted my longstanding request to add a “free wall” limiting posts to any and all subscribers, you will have to fork over your email if you want my wit and wisdom.

Why? Because I’m starting a new book—and this newsletter is ultimately just galactic dust that sparkles as it falls from brighter stars.

Without further ado—