I played myself in a movie

RAMONA AT MIDLIFE is coming soon—& you can preorder now on Apple TV

Zarah Mahler, Yetta Gottesman, Catherine Curtin and Yvonne Woods as Ramona—holding The Portrait of a Mirror.

Hello friends,

If the most painful parts of publishing a novel take the form of dashed expectations, its greatest delights just might spring from the unexpected.

The inclusion of The Portrait of a Mirror—and ultimately, me—in

Brooke Berman

’s debut feature Ramona At Midlife has been one such unexpected delight. And starting February 11, you can watch it! Pre-orders are available now on Apple TV.

Ramona Lee used to be a bestselling author. Now in her 40s, Ramona is a single mother working at a vet clinic and raising her daughter, Kiki. But when Ramona’s estranged husband informs her that a hot filmmaker’s new project seems to be ripped from her life, old wounds re-open and she needs to confront her mistakes. Ramona needs to reclaim her own story. Determined to face what ails her, she mends old friendships and even starts dating again, all the while writing letters to her artistic idol, Patti Smith, asking how Smith survived domestic life and re-entered the world as an artist. The movie asks why a woman’s story is only marketable when told by a man, and how women can reclaim their creativity in midlife.

Ramona scribbling while Portrait lounges nearby.

How did I get involved with this project? As is so often the case, thanks to my wonderful literary agent. At first it was just about the book—Brooke wanted the film to feature real work by Ramona’s “contemporaries.” Portrait was scouted as a good fit, along with a few others you can read about here:

Meet the Writers Featured in "Ramona"

Brooke later extended an invitation for us to be extras as well. How could I resist?

With Alysia Reiner on the set of her character’s book party, in the same dress I wore to my real book party for Portrait.

It wasn’t until after I arrived on set in Brooklyn that being an extra turned into a cameo. I haven’t acted since mm third grade?—and even though I was playing myself, it was hard! I tried my best to follow instructions; there were many takes. I didn’t know for sure if the scene had made the cut until a couple months ago, shortly before I got to see the final product for myself.

Gossiping with Chris Henry Coffey in the “cut scene.”

And then, after the shots of the book, after catching my bright dress in the background once or twice, there I was: walking, talking in the last scene. In a film I was heartily enjoying! How surreal; how meta. Art imitating life imitating art, etc. It was deeply—almost too—charming and spell-binding on an egoic level. That is to say: Narcissan, so it was also perfect.

As always, thanks for reading—and if you see the film, let me know what you think,

ANJ